“In life, one must choose between boredom and suffering.” A quote from French author Madame de Stael. Not that I know anything about her. I was introduced to this quote via The Sopranos, from Meadow Soprano, and the quote immediately resonated with me.

We are not always either bored or suffering in the literal sense. But very often in life, we oscillate between idle boredom and challenges or obstacles. I view any of; literal suffering, a challenge, or a goal, as a stand in for the “suffering” in the quote. Not because having challenges or goals necessarily means one suffers. But because they represent some type of discontent that one must overcome to be fulfilled.

In life, you have obstacles and goals. When you get past the obstacle, you look for something else. Obviously, this does not apply to every waking moment of your day or every day of your life. People are plenty pleased spending time relaxing and watching TV or reading books. But over the course of long periods of time, that alone does not suffice.

And of course, this problem, of finding a new challenge or passion when all serious obstacles have been gotten through, is confined to the more fortunate among us. Most people have exigent obstacles they must attend to, whether personal, professional, material or spiritual.

There is a reason why people are either struggling through the everyday challenges of their lives, or are looking for a passion to focus their energy on. This is what animates us as human beings. We are not here simply to bide our time until we die (although many philosophers might argue that we are).

Maybe the dichotomy of boredom or suffering is such so that we have something to fill our lives with. We must constantly tread water, or else sink into boredom and nihilism. But a life of always being confronted with challenges is not desirable, is it? Such a life would burn you out. And it sadly does for countless people.

A life of no obstacles would in the long run not be much better. Obstacles, challenges and goals drive you to improve and grow. They give something to channel your passion towards. Whether mentally, physically or emotionally, if people are too sedentary, they atrophy.

So, boredom or suffering? Clearly, people need a little bit of both. People need challenges to make them grow, goals to give them a passion and something to strive for. And people also need time to recharge and enjoy the fruits of their labor. It must be a little bit of both. But for each person, the exact combination of the two is different.

A person’s best hope is for challenges that give meaning and cause improvement, but ones that are not too overwhelming to actual get through. If a person can harmonize the periods of challenge with the periods of calm in their lives, he has the answer. But doing so is a constant work in progress, something I hope to get to one say.

Does one have to choose between boredom or suffering? In the absolute sense, a person is probably in a state of one or the other. But with experience, work, and the right perspective, you can feel content, and not burnt out. You can accomplish a lot while keeping tranquility. Life is about balance. Get the balance of boredom and suffering right and you will be as fulfilled as you can hope to be.