Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less

What does it mean to be humble? Obviously it means knowing that you aren’t the greatest thing in the world. Knowing that you have flaws, and can always improve and learn from others.

But as CS Lewis notes, humility doesn’t have to be thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. Humility means recognizing that other people are just as important as you and deserve your recognition, respect, and deference. You are not the center of the world.

Humility is recognizing that other people have complex needs just as you do. Therefore, your thoughts in situations should not revolve around your needs or how you perceive situations.

Making yourself less of the primary focus in your thoughts will allow you to recognize other people are just as important as you. It seems obvious, doesn’t it? It is if you take a step back, but if you are always concerned only with yourself, it makes it more difficult to see other points of view as just as valid as yours.

This also goes to a type of solipsistic world view that many people who achieve great things can acquire. Often to achieve greatness, a person is singularly focused on moving themselves up. Consequently, they view others as mere side characters in the only thing on Earth that matters: their own life.

For these people, the idea of others having agency and complex ideas and points of view just as important as theirs can seem alien. Sometimes it can be difficult to guard against.

Imagine you are the President of the United States, the most powerful and influential person in the world. Especially in the case of the current President, nearly every human on Earth knows who you are, and has thought or talked about you. Add it the adoration and hate that tens of millions of people have for you, it is difficult not to view yourself as the center of the world.

The same principle can be applied to the greatest athletes. To have tens or hundreds of millions of people almost worship you, and have billions know your name must be surreal.

To an extent, almost all people have a latent solipsistic obsession with themselves. You are the only true reference point you have for everything. And we all have to put a certain amount of importance on ourselves. But tempering the amount of time you think about yourself and your needs is a good way of learning humility.