“Another Person Cannot Hurt You Without Your Cooperation; You Are Hurt The Moment You Believe Yourself To Be”

This quote from Epictetus highlights the fact that you are the one in control of your emotions and happiness. It is one of the many lessons that you have the power to control your happiness. Your mind is something that no one else can get to. And it can allow you to overcome any hardship or hurt.

Of course, it is definitely still possible for someone to hurt you no matter what you decide. Certain things can be done to you that will inflict pain no matter how strong your mind is. But in the vast majority of circumstances, the hurt we endure because of others can overcome through our own decisions.

Usually, the hurt we have on account of others comes from criticism, mockery, insults, or lack of love. And it is perfectly understandable why such things would cause us pain. But if we decide that we will not let the lack of love or malice of others cause us pain, we do not have to feel the pain.

This does not mean pretend that what someone else has done to you never happened. It does not mean criticize yourself for feeling pain. What it does mean is recognize that the person who caused you pain cannot control how you feel about yourself.

When someone does something that hurts you, take a moment to think about a few things. One, you cannot control other people. Thus, it is inevitable that there will be people who are unpleasant to you. Two, realize that their actions might have nothing to do with you. We have all had days where something that upset us led us to mistreat someone else who had nothing to do with it. Keep that in mind.

Finally, learn to let go. Even if someone does something that is wrong, and your anger is justified, it is good to learn to let go. In the end, letting go leads to more peace and happiness long term. Holding anger or resentment towards someone who wronged you usually does not improve the situation, it only creates emotional and physical strain.

The overlying point of this quote is that you ultimately have control of your own happiness. Exerting that control is not always easy. It can take a lot of practice. But once you learn that you can do it, and learn how to do it, you will be able to become the master of your happiness. As long as you believe yourself to be happy, you will be.