Don’t Ever Fly to Portland

Who likes to travel here, any travelers? I like to travel too, you know what’s crazy is how they always say stereotypes aren’t real…. and then you get to your gate at the airport for a flight to Portland, and 30 people are sitting there with neon green hair and It makes you think like, “are these leftists gonna try and hijack our airplane and crash it into a police station?”

I was walking around downtown Portland one time and this guy was in my way, so I said “excuse me sir”, and mind you, from behind this guy had these big broad shoulders that resembled Hulk Hogan and although he was wearing stilettos heels and fishnet, I figured it was still a Halloween costume. When he turned around he had a 5 o’clock shadow and was wearing makeup, but he immediately looked me in the eye and started chasing me like a linebacker cause I apparently misgendered him on the street. His estrogen eventually kicked in and I was able to lose him.

Do you remember when they took over that one neighborhood? Chaz, Chop, whatever you want to call it. The memes were insane. They had all these signs saying “no human being is illegal” and the first thing they did was build a wall around the exterior of the area. So anyways, stay away from Portland. These people are crazy.